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Jan 10 2013
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General, Personal Development, Personal Growth

Fit for Two

I’m realizing that some of these pregnancy “tools” that they offer on the mommy-to-be websites aren’t the most helpful.  Some of them cause downright panic!  Yesterday, I found this weight tracker tool that gauges if I am on target with pregnancy weight gain.  Well, of course, this thing tells me that I’m about 7 pounds past where I should be at 19 weeks.  You’re probably thinking “Seven pounds?! That’s nothing!!!” Well I thought so too until a co-worker of mine told me that I’ll probably pile on about 15-20 in my last three months!  Woah… slow down killa’ that’s not something I’m used to. I guess all those fast food cravings in my first trimester finally caught up with me.

Then to top it off, this morning, randomly my co-worker approaches me and asks what type of workout am I doing.  When I reply nothing she said in her lovingly, high yellow (…inside joke…), obnoxious way, “Aiight, well, don’t complain when you walk up in here post-baby looking like a black Pillsbury dough boy!”  Dang..! Did she have to put it like that?!!

So I say all this to declare that I am officially going to start working out.  It’s something I’ve been putting off for far too long now and it’s about time I get off my butt and keep both my baby and me healthy!  The other week I tried some of my old workout DVDs, and man was that a sight!  Let’s just say this round belly gets in the way of more than just bending over and tying my shoes these days.

So, I did the next best thing… I Google‘d it..! Yuppers… Google is my friend.  And after some weeding through of YouTube videos, I came across this fab little channel… Fit Pregnancy… woo hoo!  Thank goodness for the Internet.

Check it out! Let me know what you think!

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Jan 07 2013
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General, Personal Development, Personal Growth

It’s Been Too Long…

Since I last wrote on my blog. Life has a way of diverting our attention doesn’t it?

Anyways, my impetus for picking up blogging again is my husband and I are expecting our first child and I couldn’t think of a better way to chronicle this experience. Granted I’m almost 19 weeks into the process, but better late than never right?

It’s a dream come true to be a mommy and I’m totally thrilled and honored to be blessed with the task. It’s such a miracle to watch her grow inside of me. Thank you God for keeping us healthy and safe thus far.

More pics and musings to come…

For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him: — 1 Samuel 1:27

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Feb 27 2012
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Communication, General, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Relationships

Change Me, Lord!

Mahatma Ghandi said,

Be the change you want to see in the world.

I would add you must also be the change you want to see on your job, in your family, in your marriage… in all your relationships. I am the only person in any situation that I can control. Yet many mornings I awake asking God to change my situation, or better still, to change the other person, as if they are the only one with a problem.

In the book, “The Power of a Praying Wife” the author writes that while the other person can be completely wrong, off base, and most in need of a change in heart, God wants us to focus on who is most willing to change. Willingness to change is what I believe Ghandi was talking about. We are powerless over what others say, think, and feel. But we are in control of ourselves. We don’t always have it together. We get it wrong daily. We very often contribute, even if only in some small way, to the circumstances with which we are most displeased. And the reason we want to ignore all this is because of pride and anger. To admit we are wrong or have in some way contributed to our own displeasure is painful to say the least. It takes a great amount of humility and brokenness to come clean about our own responsibility in the situation. Rarely in any conflict or disagreement is either party completely right or completely wrong. But pride tells us to shift the blame, focus only on our hurt and pain, and play the victim.

I’m guilty of this – allowing my hurts and pains to take control of my life too often. Quite frankly, I can’t recall when this has ever been a good thing. Until I decided to confess and rid myself of the bitterness and resentment in my heart, it was difficult to for the situation to change. In Psalm 66:18,

If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.

Iniquity is defined as the hidden sins of the heart – the junk we pretend isn’t there but is slowly poisoning us and the people around us. For example, have you ever met a woman who was salty and moody all the time!? Always has something sassy or sarcastic to say. After being in her presence you just feel bad! The Bible calls her a “contentious woman.” A woman like this often has such anger, bitterness, and resentment tucked away in her heart it takes such effort to maintain a relationship with her. The same goes for men. Ever meet a “grumpy old man”? The name says enough.

If I am praying about my situation, but not owning honestly and transparently the part I played in the situation, God says He won’t listen to me. Well, if I can’t fix the other person, let alone myself, I need God to hear every righteous request I make.

The truth is no one is without need to change. We can always improve and become more Christ-like. The Bible reminds us that we are being perfected until the day Jesus returns. So it’s pretty haughty to proclaim that we are never to blame. We are to be reconcilers of the breeches in our relationships, and whoever is the most mature is supposed to take the lead.

Here are some simple ways to take the lead for positive change in your relationships:

  1. Accept the reality that you could be wrong. Face it, God never promised that you would be Ms. Wonderful all the time. Contrary to popular belief, you just don’t know it all. Mature women own when they are wrong, apologize sincerely, and make the necessary changes.
  2. Yield and submit to God’s plan for change in your life. The situations we face are not always the enemy fighting us. God uses all situations to bring us to a point of maturity. Be willing to allow God to show you yourself through every trial. Truth doesn’t always feel good, but mature people are willing to face it no matter how much it hurts.
  3. Exercise wisdom and make realistic decisions that are best for you. The Serenity Prayer says, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.” The only one that can change the heart of a person is God. If you are married to or dating a “project,” STOP IT!!!! It’s prideful and insane to believe your love is so good that it can change another person’s will and desires. People will always do what they want to do, not what you want to them to do… don’t you?
  4. Show grace to others, as God has shown grace to you. Grace gives us the space we need to grow and mature. It prevents us from being condemned every time we sin. God’s mercy has kept us all from the true punishment of sin, death! If God spared you from death from some of the most heinous acts in your life, why can’t you spare someone else from your personal wrath over a disagreement? Every battle is the Lord’s not yours.
  5. Commit your concerns to prayer. The prayers of a righteous person are powerful and effective. (James 5:16) Prayer changes things. Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8) The battles of your life will always be won on your knees before you see the manifestation in your life.

The best thing any person can do for their relationship or situation is become the healthiest self they can. When everyone is striving to be their best and to become more loving toward others, who loses? My question to you is: Are you willing to be the change you want to see in your life?

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Jan 24 2012
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General, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Self-worth

Get Out of Your Own Way: 3 Principles for Productive Living

productive livingToday is the day; get out of your own way. Sometimes we have such self-defeating attitudes and thoughts that we put ourselves into a rut that thwarts us from productive living and puts us in a tailspin of worry and fear. Do you sometimes think you aren’t good enough and therefore don’t try? Are you afraid of success? Or perhaps unclear of what you want of life?

Here are 3 Principles I have learned to live more productively:

Recognize You are Sleeping with the Enemy

When I was in college, I dated one of the computer techs at my school. One day while getting my laptop fixed I overheard the other techies helping another student and commenting that he thought the problem was simply a PEBCAC. When he said this all the techs erupted in laughter. Confused, I asked my boyfriend what that meant and he said he’d tell me later. Apparently, PEBCAC means “Problem Exists Between Computer And Chair!” Well, of course, I was glad they weren’t talking about me. But as I reflect on life, I see how in situations not related to technology, the problem has existed with me and not the person or external circumstance that I tried to blame it on. Much to my demise, the problem simply began and ended with me. I am my own worst enemy. And I have to fight myself everyday to overcome the thoughts, patterns, and habits that come so easily to me and replace with them with healthier emotional responses. It was MY choices, MY thoughts, MY attitudes, MY reactions that landed me in the position I was in. If I felt I was not accomplishing my goals, did I really have anyone else to blame? No one held a gun to my head demanding that I procrastinate, make excuses, treat myself or others badly. I had to learn to own my stuff and fight against me, not the rest of the world. Take responsibility for who you are, who you are not, what you choose to do and what you choose not to do.

Focus on What You Want, Not How to Get There

The next thing you need to do is focus on what you want out of life, rather than spending so much time on how to get there. I read in a blog article by Michael Hyatt that when your goal is absolutely clear, achieving it becomes that much easier. Most times we spend too much time focusing on the wrong part of the equation. Clarity and focus on goals not processes are essential to staying on track. We have an innate ability to guide ourselves and make more intentional decisions when we are certain about what we want to accomplish.

In the 107 year-old classic, “As a Man Thinketh” it is said that a man is literally what he thinks; the sum total of his thoughts is his character. If you think you can’t, you won’t. It’s that simple. It’s all a state of mind. Victory over life battles doesn’t go to the person that is faster, smarter, or stronger; ultimately the victory goes to the one who simply believes he can.

I was taught:

Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap your destiny.

Your success begins with a single thought.

In Spite of Hardship, Press On

Life happens to everybody. That’s a given. Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. But you can decide that giving up is not an option. This is perhaps the most important decision a person makes in life. It is the decision where winners and losers separate themselves. You must eliminate the word “try” from your vocabulary. It must be so engrained in you that you will fight and do what is takes to succeed that no obstacle seems insurmountable. That’s not to say you won’t have concerns or doubts at times. But you recognize that although life brings circumstances that are not always kind, and that we sometimes make poor decisions we cannot always change, we will continue pressing on.

Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest player in the history of basketball, said

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

It’s not that winners always win. It’s simply that they didn’t settle for losing.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. – Winston Churchill.

Commit to Lifelong Learning

Wisdom is defined as the right application of knowledge. Many of us can be smart but not wise. Knowledge sometimes puffs us up to the point of conceit thus we become unteachable. I propose you must commit to learn from life and all it has to offer. There is always a lesson to be learned. It takes a certain depth of character to own up to your mistakes and seek to learn the lesson. There will always be someone that knows more than you about something. It is why we have two ears and one mouth. We should be willing to listen and learn more than we are fighting to talk.

The principles I have outlined are challenging at best, but not impossible. The questions that remains is: Are you willing to take your life to the next level?

 

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Nov 21 2011
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General, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Professional Development, Spiritual Growth

Developing Discipline: Focus on the Goal

The Road to Developing Discipline

I read an article today on developing discipline, 5 Steps to Developing More Discipline.  It said

“Discipline is not really about will-power so much as it is focusing on what you really want. If you get clear on that, it suddenly becomes much easier.”

I find this to be a profound way of looking at developing discipline.  Often time we think about developing discipline as need to “white-knuckle” ourselves into behavior modification, when in this case, Michael Hyatt, is proposing that discipline is actually about focusing on the right part of the equation. 

Focus + Discipline = Goal

Developing Discipline is Fighting the Right Opponent

Sometimes we enter the ring fighting our shortcomings and misgivings without clarity about what it is we want to accomplish.  It’s like the old adage, begin with the end in mind.  I know from personal experience, how relatively easy you can become sidetracked in your pursuit of a said goal.  In our diversions, however, we become consumed with variations of our original goals and many times wejust end up chasing our tails and never moving forward.

Developing Discipline Takes Time

On too many occasions, I have thought of ways to make extra cash quick.  I have sold jewelry, intimate apparel, health foods, accessories, skin care, etc.  The list goes on.  And of course I have to some lesser extent made a few dollars, but I can tell you each endeavor was hsort-lived.  Why?  Because my goal was not clear.  I thought too short term.  Making a few dollars right now should not have been my goal.  Rather my goal should have been more long-term, concrete, and intentional.

Developing Disciplined Lifestyles Leads to Success

In I Corinthians 9:27, Paul says: But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

In other words, he reflected on his own behavior, thoughts, and desires to make sure that his actions line up with his overarching goal of being an example of what it means to glorify and follow Christ.

The Franklin Covey planning system teaches that we should have a “life plan and personal mission statement”: a plan that extends beyond current needs and wants and addresses overarching values and desired lifestyles.   Benjamin Franklin was known to record attributes he wanted to develop, the goals he wanted to reach, and the plans he made to do so in a small notebook.  However, you decide to record your life plan is up to you, but it is absolutely necessary to make short-term decisions based on your long-term goals.  The most important take away that the discipline of reviewing and reflecting your goals, shortcomings, and plans is the key to staying focused

For example,  I currently  have a comfortable non-profit job that I started alst year.  My previous position afforded me the opportunity to travel and see the world, a desire I have always had.  But I was always on the road.  I met my now husband, shortly before I left that company for my current position.  While I was not 100% sure that Juan would be the man I marry, I knew that I wanted to start arranging my life in a way that made room for stable, long-term relationships, and would eventually be conducive to settling down and starting a family.  Raising a family is very important to me (and my husband).  Therefore, in the short term I made decisions about my career that took that into consideration.  It only made sense.  Thus, as I move forward in my career pathway I will continue to make decisions based on the simple fact that I wanted to have a family in the long-term. 

The same is true for personal improvement, professional endeavors, spiritual growth, etc.  Begin with the end in mind.  Focusing on the goal aids your ability isolate and put into perspective all the inevitable challenges and obstacles that lie ahead.

So what is it that you would like to accomplish that you have been unable to do so?  What is the real goal and what instead have you been focusing on that got you off track?  How do you plan to change your ways of developing discipline?

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Jun 30 2011
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Personal Development, Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth

Getting Out of Debt

Image by klip via Flickr

Looking for a free, easy read on personal finance and getting out of debt? Check out: http://christianpf.com/debt-ebook-download/

It’s free and practical. It’s not mind-boggling or hard, but just pragmatic advice most of us probably already know.

The Lord has challenged me in this area and as I find more resources and tools, I will gladly share!

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Sep 24 2010
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Christianity, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Self-worth, Spiritual Growth

The Crossroad

I read this devotional this morning, and it came at a perfect time when I am faced with a fork in the road.

I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. – Psalm 18: 1-3

Our own efforts at self-control & willpower have proved fruitless against the enemies of compulsivity, drivenness, and neediness. We find ourselves at a critical crossroads. On the 1 hand, our old addictions or dependencies beckon to us and tell us that the practice of those dependencies will be the ultimate source of our comfort. On the other hand, we have begun 2 experience that the promises of our addictions are false promises. We’ve discovered along with many other recovering persons, that our addictions have stopped working for us. The alternatives appear bleak. How shall we be saved from the enemies of our dependencies? David celebrates a God who is “my rock & my fortress & my deliverer” Our dependencies brought to a point of powerlessness. That powerlessness has brough us to the threshold of the God of our fathers who has infinite strength to provide our salvation.

Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken” speaks volumes to me today.  He wrote “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.”  Today, I recognize that God brings us to various crossroads in our lifetimes.  And like the traveler I have looked at both paths, the one beaten down by the many who have gone before me, but today I choose to walk down the one less travelled and by faith knowing that in the end that will make all the difference.

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Jul 26 2010
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Personal Development, Personal Growth, Relationships

But That’s Just Who I Am

Have you ever said to someone after they confronted you about something you did, “…but that’s just who I am.”

We sometimes become so defensive and protective of “who we are” that we forget most of “who we are” is inherently evil in the sight of God. Matthew 15:19 says “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” The heart is the center of our personality and character and out of it too easily springs sarcasm, inappropriate conversation, abusive comments, perverse humor, etc… the list goes on. However, we have a tendency to protect what we deem as inherent to our personality and character because we feel it’s who God made us to be. We couldn’t be further from the truth!

Our hearts were never designed to transgress any of God’s law, but they do daily. Because sin entered into the heart we became corrupt at the very core of our personalities and characters. Paul says in Romans 7:18, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing.” And without the Holy Spirit at work in us the battle is lost before words and thoughts from our hearts can ever be put into action. Purity is not born in us; it must be created in us through the work of God’s hand in our lives.

Oswald Chambers wrote: The Account of Purity

We begin by trusting our ignorance and calling it innocence, by trusting our innocence and calling it purity; and when we hear these rugged statements of Our Lord’s, we shrink and say – But I never felt any of those awful things in my heart. We resent what Jesus Christ reveals. Either Jesus Christ is the supreme Authority on the human heart, or He is not worth paying any attention to. Am I prepared to trust His penetration, or do I prefer to trust my innocent ignorance? IF I make conscious innocence the test, I am likely to come to a place where I find with a shuddering awakening that what Jesus Christ said is true, and I shall be appalled at the possibility of evil and wrong in me.

Ignorance is not innocence and innocence is not purity. Purity is a direct result allowing God to purge us with hyssop and create within us a clean heart and right spirit. And that doesn’t come without a price. We don’t see our humor, our way of thinking, our drive-by comments, as the evil that springs from the heart. And when others get offended by what we say and do, we often get angry, defensive, and offended because people told the truth about what came out of our hearts. We deflect, create diversions, hide, cover, and lie just to escape the pain of truth. Truth doesn’t always make us look or feel good. But just because we try to avoid facing truth doesn’t mean it goes away. We can pull the covers over our heads for a time, but when we come out truth will be waiting for us at the foot of the bed.

The issues of our evil hearts don’t have to overshadow who we become as new creatures in Christ. What if we took the challenges to examine our hearts as opportunities for God to draw us closer to Himself? What if we sought after purifying our hearts so that we can reach a new level of holy and righteous living? Our ministries would be stronger. Our relationships would be more peaceful. We would be wiser.

We are who we are, but is that who God wants us to be?

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